Want to have an orgasmic birth?

Want to have an orgasmic birth?

Last week I was interviewed in a Swedish newspaper about Orgasmic Birth.

If you know Swedish, you can read the article here. 

If you don’t know Swedish, I’ve translated the article for you below. 

ENJOY!

This is orgasmic birth - how to have one

Can you feel pleasure during your birth? According to some, it is possible. The method called "Orgasmic birth" means that you use pleasure, and orgasm, as a tool during childbirth.

- Women are hungry for positive experiences instead of the doomsday feeling before childbirth: That it is terrible to go through.

- The method removes stress, distraction, fears and blockages that prevent a woman from experiencing a calm and ecstatic birth. In birth, you can feel every cell of the body vibrate with life and power, you give yourself to the body. It's a different kind of birth than what we’ve seen on TV shows like ER, says Erika Alsborn, sex and childbirth coach.

Erika Alsborn, works specifically with something she calls positive childbirth, where she includes sexuality as an ingredient during pregnancy and childbirth. She herself has used the method orgasmic birth when she gave birth to her first child in 2019.

- I was looking for an alternative to the common discourse in society about childbirth. In my experience, it felt very positive and affirming. The work I do as a birth coach is based on my journey of preparing for and experiencing an orgasmic birth.

Orgasmic birth, however, is not about having an orgasm when you give birth. It's more about the feeling of an orgasm, Erika Alsborn explains.

- You’re in connection with your emotions. You feel powerful, open, love, deep well-being, your absolute physical intensity and of course pleasure. It is a physical, psychological, spiritual, positive and emotional experience.

- But it's not a ten-hour-long orgasm, and you do not necessarily have to have an orgasm at all.

She also calls it "ecstatic birth", because the experience itself feels ecstatic and greater than oneself. Just like you can feel ecstatic when you do something else you enjoy, like playing a sport, singing, or writing.

Is it the same type of orgasm that you can have with your partner or on your own?

- No, I would not say that. The stereotypical orgasm for women is limited and fast, then the feeling is gone. With this method, it's like getting deeper into a trance state in the mind and body and losing some of the contact with the outside world, in a good way. It is incredibly powerful and positive.

Some may think it feels wrong to link their sexuality with having children, what do you say about that?

- If you have that feeling, it's perfectly okay, you get to choose for yourself. But there is no denying that you give birth with your sexual organs and there is a connection between sexuality and childbirth. Then you get to choose if you want to include your sexuality in it. It’s the same with sex, you get to choose for yourself.

Tips and advice for orgasmic birth

Orgasmic birth is not taught by a health center or maternity care. You will find the tools within yourself. Here are Erika Alsborn's tips and advice on how to use the method.

During pregnancy and before childbirth

Work on the mental part

- What are your thoughts, expectations and unspoken fears about your birth? Identify your negative thoughts - if you have heard lots of stories of how awful it was to give birth, you carry it in your mental baggage. It is important to be aware of this and ask yourself if this thought strengthens you and supports you in having a positive and pleasurable birth? If the answer is no, then you have to turn it into something positive. If you think the birth is a negative experience, your body will go into a defensive position and prevent you from relaxing. Set a boundary with people, let them know you are not interested in hearing the negative thoughts of others, and prepare for your own experience.

Acknowledge your sensuality and sexuality

Acknowledge your sensuality and sexuality during pregnancy. Enjoy life, eat good food, listen to music, focus on things that give you pleasure and emphasize this, and notice that it is strengthened in the body.

Have solo sex or sex with your partner. Encourage sexual pleasure, feel that childbirth is an extension of your sexuality.

- In our society, we have this story where after conception and when you become a pregnant woman, it is as if the woman and her body is desexualized. There is this cultural narrative that a mother should not be sexual, and on a subconscious level, we desexualize ourselves. Childbirth has become a medicalized experience, where it is seen as a problem to be solved.

- If you have actively worked with your sexuality during pregnancy, it is easier to take the step to become a mother, when you feel that sexuality is part of you.

During childbirth

See the delivery room as a private sphere

When you give birth to a child, you want honor the same needs as during sex: security, that it is private and that no strangers come in.

- Just like when you have sex, birth is an intimate, vulnerable experience, think "What would I have needed to feel safe in my birth as in an intimate situation?"

Work on your breathing

Have a deep, calm and slow breathing, get in touch with your body.

Sound

Allow yourself to make noise.

Focus on what is happening in the body

Work with a focus on the body, pay attention to what is happening in the body and trust that it is doing the right thing.

- One way to deal with pain is to focus on the exciting sensations in the body - instead of thinking "it hurts!" you can sink deeper into the experience and sensations and notice that it feels like it is burning, an extreme pressure, waves of intensity, a piercing sensation etc. It makes it much easier to get through it. And then, focus on the pleasurable sensations too!

Get loving touch

Have loving support in the form of a partner, friend or doula who gives you love, sensual touch and massage.

- Approach birth as an intimate and vulnerable experience - similar to sex. Have someone with you who evokes that feeling.

Caress and stroke yourself

Stroking your genitals during birth is not illegal. Stroke your body and your breasts, and use it as pain relief. It can both hurt and feel amazing when you give birth. You can also use a sex toy.

- Childbirth is supported by coziness, cuddles, sensuality and sexuality. Giving birth to a child is to open oneself on so many levels, physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually, which one does during sex as well.

If you give birht in a hospital, you’ll have a lot of time to spend on your own. That’s a great opportunity to lie and cuddle with your partner.

- It is cozy to kiss, caress yourself and this strengthens the body. You relax more and feel that you can last for a long time. Instead of seeing childbirth as a curse, you can see it as a fun, nice, sexual, comfortable and awesome experience. You can feel strengthened to have the pleasure as a friend during the birth.

Benefits of orgasmic birth

The hormone oxytocin increases in the body

The hormone is released when we feel pleasure, love and security, and makes us relax. The same hormone is also released during childbirth and is the main hormone to drive the birth forward and tell the uterus to work and contract.

- It promotes the feeling of love and positivity and gives signals to the uterus to continue to give birth.

Pain management

Pleasure has a pain-relieving effect and makes the experience more manageable.

- It makes you feel calm and present, which balances the challenging experience of having children. It is physically tough to give birth, but it can also be wonderful. Just like running a marathon.

Curious and want to know more?

- Google and see what comes up, there are videos and positive birth stories. Start looking for alternatives to the boring, negative, overly medicalized and problem-focused discourse we have about childbirth. Start feeding your brain with other stories. Work with the tools and focus on pleasure and sensuality and be active in your sexuality with yourself and your partner, says Erika Alsborn.

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Annnnnd, of course, hire me as your birth coach if you desire to have the most AMAZING pleasurable, positive and even orgasmic birth. 

I’m going to talk lots more about my own birth, how to prep for birth and what orgasmic birth is on my podcast that is launching soon! Keep an eye out for this, it’s gonna be sooo good!

If you’ve given birth and want to write your birth story – it can be a very healing experience – then click here to can download my PDF Write Your Birth Story. 

Sending you love!

Erika