Pleasure Celebration and My Sexual Empowerment Journey

Welcome, welcome, welcome. I am just so excited that you’re reading this Pleasure Celebration blog post. Thank you for saying “yes” to giving yourself this treat.  

Pleasure is truly the greatest gift you can give yourself. Wherever you are at on your journey to empower your pleasure and enjoy your body, by reading this you are saying that it is important, you are taking the time for this. And so, I celebrate you for being here and I celebrate myself for the hard work, for the dedication to my own pleasure, to my own sexual awakening, to my own sexual empowerment that led me to this point today in my business and mission in life to share this with you. I've put in so much work, hundreds of hours of self-pleasure and studying and learning about sexuality from many different angles, to get to this point, and I'm so excited to share a little bit of my gifts, a little bit of my journey with you.

So...What is pleasure celebration?  Why did I decide to name this blog post Pleasure Celebration?  Well, it's pretty self-explanatory.  

But for me, pleasure is so much more than just pleasure. Pleasure in itself is valuable but there's so much more underneath, inside our bodies, inside our sexuality, inside our sensuality that wakes up when we commit to a lifestyle of pleasure celebration, of pleasure prioritization, of pleasure focus.  

And so, I just wanted to share a little bit about my own journey from where I started when I realized that I had issues and I was deeply unfulfilled sexually and so disconnected from my pleasure. 

My Sexual Empowerment Journey

Pleasure was pretty absent from my life altogether, and now, pleasure is like my fuel, pussy fuel. It's my spiritual practice.

I'm in my mid 30s now, and about 10 years ago, I had had enough.  

I had been sexually active for about 10 years at that point, and I had been performing sex pretty much from the very start. I had had some negative sexual experiences in the beginning when I was really young.  My sexual debut was really negative and not entirely consensual. 

After that, and just with all of the societal messages and the conditioning, and even though I grew up in Sweden, a pretty sex liberal and sex-positive culture, I still had internalized deeply negative messages about female sexuality, about what it means to be a woman and embrace one’s sexuality.  

I truly did not enjoy sex. I performed. I faked thousands of orgasms. Rest in peace all of those orgasms that never happened that I just faked instead! I felt so deeply, deeply disconnected from my body, from my genitals, from my pleasure.  My orgasms were inconsistent and pretty absent. I could only ever orgasm if I had really intense strong vibrator stimulation on my clitoris, on my own lying in a specific position. Pleasure or orgasm wasn’t to think of in a partnered sexual experience.

And so, it got to a point where I was literally thinking and questioning:

Am I asexual? 

Am I sexual at all? 

Is pleasure even available to me?  

What is an orgasm?  

What is it that all these people and women and Cosmopolitan and whatnot talk about? 

What is wrong with me?  

I started to deeply question my body and myself, thinking that something was innately wrong with me. And it was at that point that I was just like, well, I will either just accept this now and just like, surrender to the fact, lose hope, bury it, bury my sexuality in the graveyard, and just move on about life and accept that that's it and try and find enjoyment in other places, or I will do something about it.  

I decided to do something about it. Thank God.

There and then I embarked on a journey where I did really deep sexual healing work, did so much self-pleasuring, did academic studies in the field of sexuality, completed a year-long sex, love and relationship coaching program, and little by little, I started to wake up that dormant pleasure, the dormant sexuality within myself.  

Because this is true for everyone – I have not seen a single woman, a single person who does not have an innate sexual energy within them.  

Even people who range within the spectrum of asexuality, there is a core of sexual energy, but for people that don't identify on the spectrum of asexuality, but feel like sexual pleasure and lust and desire is not available to them, it's dormant.  It is simply sleeping. It is buried underneath layers of frozen feelings and thoughts and religious and societal conditioning. 

Underneath that, there is a perfect and whole core of your pleasure, of your sexuality, just waiting for you to come in and start saying “It's okay.  Welcome back to life.” And you resuscitate your pussy and your pleasure and let it start to grow and flourish and bloom with so much gentleness, compassion and love.

So, if you resonate with that experience of feeling disconnected and feeling somehow dissatisfied with the pleasure that you're experiencing or your orgasms, just know that you are perfect, and everything's okay and you just need the right tools and help and support and encouragement to wake up that as well.  

If you are pretty satisfied with your sexuality and you're like “Hell yes! it's working for me but I want to take it to the next level” then there are so many places for you to go as well and expand your pleasure capacity, broaden your orgasmic bliss and ecstasy and deepen your connection and unlock your expression.

I really went from pre-orgasmic to multi-orgasmic.  

These days I have all of the orgasms. And if you are thinking “All of the orgasms, what do you mean?”

I mean throat, clitoral, vaginal, G spot, cervical, uterine, anal, breath, energy.  You name it. Techno orgasms, gym orgasms! There are literally no boundaries to the orgasmic capacity that I experience today.  

And that is not because I am some magical being and I was born like this.  Well, in fact, I was because everyone is born with the orgasmic capacity; if you have a nervous system, if you have genitals then you have an orgasmic capacity. 

But, after decades of rejecting one’s body and repressing one’s desires and sexual expression, then of course, it perhaps doesn’t feel like being sexual, filled with pleasure and orgasmic are natural qualities within...

Pleasure Celebration & The Self-Pleasure Practice

So, it's really a radical act to say yes to pleasure, to celebrate pleasure. It's a radical and pretty revolutionary statement and act to embark on the journey to reclaim your pleasure because it goes against so many things you've been taught, so many things you've learned, and so many things that you've internalized.  

And that's why it can feel really difficult, and like you're up against some big walls and heavy resistance. But I promise you on the other end of those walls, on the other end of that resistance, there is so, so, SO much pleasure awaiting for you.

So maybe you’re wondering…

What can one do? 

Practice self-pleasure! 

This was pretty new to me when I started my sexual healing and education journey. And I was like, “Why do we call it self-pleasure? Why not just say masturbation? Isn't that what it is?”  

Well, there is a pretty distinct difference between self-pleasure and masturbation, in my opinion. 

Self-pleasure means that it's a practice – it's like going to yoga or to the gym or running or art, whatever thing that you dive into where there is a journey of self-exploration, self-discovery, evolution. It's a practice. The more practice you put in, the more you evolve and grow and learn. Self-pleasure is a practice.  It's almost like a meditation, but very physical, of course.

Masturbation, however, can feel really goal-oriented and it's just about having an orgasm or watching porn and having an orgasm, and there's nothing wrong with that. I watch porn and can appreciate it. I masturbate sometimes as well and just grab my vibrator again and have a quick orgasm. There's nothing wrong with that.  But that's a complement to my self-pleasure practice, to my pleasure and lifestyle.

Why do we want to prioritize self-pleasure? 

Well, for all of the reasons I've shared around my journey of empowering myself and reclaiming my sexuality, my pleasure. 

But there are some key things that stand out on this journey and some of the results that you can get from having a regular (or even irregular) self-pleasure practice.  

Authentic Femininity

When you really fully dive into your pleasure, and you tap into your orgasmic flavor, you can start feeling your identity and your expression, your self-expression as a woman, so authentically.  It's not about following fashion and influencers and whatever, it's not about thinking about woman as a concept and being slightly confused about it, it feels like an authentic experience coming from within.

It can feel like you understand what your femininity is, and what it is, what it means to be a woman.  

Personal and Sexul Power

You also gain personal strength and sexual power naturally because you're working with a sexual practice but that also seeps into your life, into all areas of your life – how you dress, how you walk, how you show up in your relationships, how you feel empowered in your work. Sexuality is truly one of the core experiences of being a human, and so, when you embrace that core part of you, it impacts all areas of your life.

Pleasure is Soul Food

Pleasure elevates and feeds your nervous system.  Not only your nervous system, but your whole body, your energy.  So you have more balanced energy, more balanced emotion, it can really help with things like PMS and grumpiness as you feel elevated, blissful and energized from pleasure practices. 

Sexual & Personal Transformation

Your Pleasure practices is also a space for transformation, where you say “yes” to getting to know yourself and moving through layers of conditioning of experiences like trauma, negative experiences, body hatred, self-criticism, negative belief systems etc.  When you do regular self-pleasure practices, those things can naturally but also, of course, if you specifically work on changing those things, heal and transform.

Pleasure as Meditation

It is a form of meditation. So, if you're not the type that loves meditation, in whatever form, pleasure can be your meditation because you can dive deep into your nervous system, into your spirit, into your body in ways that feel so spiritual and activate and experience like transcendental states, mystical states of awareness. So fascinating. Literally connecting with God and Goddesses and spirit through sex. Isn't that amazing?

Sexual Expansion

And, obviously, you learn and grow as a sexual being. Then you can bring that into your partnered sexuality and be more direct about what you like, what you don't like and  you can initiate and enjoy sex from an empowered place.  

You can feel like sex is for you, not something that you just perform, or do to please your partner, or do because it's on the to-do list, it is what you should do as a girlfriend, wife, partner, whatever. Instead, you feel it's for you, and it feeds you in your life, and then from that place, you can share it generously with a partner, lover, lovers, etc.

For the pleasure of it!

Lastly, it's just a lot of fun and it feels fucking good. Do you need another reason than that? I don't think so. But if you do, then I just listed all of the other ones to convince you that you should make space for 20 minutes per week for self-pleasure practice.  

Pleasure really is sexual energy and sexual energy is lifeforce energy.  It is like fuel for your whole body, your organs, your mind, your emotions, and your goodness and happiness.  So, saying “yes” to pleasure is saying “yes” to goodness, and it leads ultimately to happiness.

And I think that's worth celebrating. I hope you think so too.

Reflection 

Having shared all this with you, I hope I’ve inspired you to think about your sexuality and pleasure as qualities in your life that you can improve, that YOU have control over and truly are for YOU. 

Take a moment and reflect on:

How do you feel about all this? 

Does anything resonate?  

Does it feel scary?  

Is it too much?  

Do you think “No, probably works for Erika, but not for me.”?  

Does it feel new to you?

I’d love to hear from you… Feel free to send me a message via the contact form and let me know what insights you got from this. 

I read and respond to all messages and emails!