Self-Pleasure vs Masturbation

Today, I want to invite you to think about the difference between self-pleasure and masturbation and share why both experiences are valuable and wonderful.

Masturbation definition by Oxford Languages:

stimulation of the genitals with the hand for sexual pleasure.

Self-pleasure, my definition:

Sensual and/or sexual practice for your pussy and whole mind, body and spirit.

Already, you notice what a massive difference there is between these two experiences.

I don’t think masturbation is bad, however, it’s kinda goal-oriented and genital-focused. In your life, masturbation definitely is worth celebrating and enjoying.

But if you want to expand your sexuality, uplevel your pleasure, learn new things and reach new heights of orgasm and bliss - masturbation isn’t the way.

That’s what self-pleasure is for.

Self-pleasure is the PRACTICE of connecting and experimenting with, exploring and even healing your sexuality.

It’s a non-goal-oriented practice you do to reach a distant overarching goal, but in the moment, in the actual experience, the aim is to be with what is.

It’s kinda like the difference between stretching (masturbation) and yoga (self-pleasure)

Just like in yoga, the goal isn’t to become flexible or get into a certain asana or position, it’s to be present with your experience within yourself. Flexibility or the “perfect” asana, is irrelevant, it’s an inevitable side effect of the practice.

Just like orgasmic expansion is the inevitable side effect of self-pleasure, but not the goal in the moment.

(There are a lot of bendy crazy people out there “practicing” yoga from a purely egoic and shallow place, that think yoga is about fancy clothes, expensive mats and flexibility. They are missing the point!)

So just like yoga is a form of physical/active meditation, so is self-pleasure.

It’s a sensual and sexual meditation where you meet yourself - including your blockages, hangups, emotions, thought patterns, resistance etc. And of course, lots of the good stuff too.

I share this with you because it’s so helpful to have these two distinctly different experiences in your sexuality:

Wanna rub one out quickly and feel a brief yet satisfying orgasm, by all means, masturbate! Enjoy yourself!

Wanna go deeper and explore the depths of your sexuality and expand your orgasmic consciousness - do self-pleasure practices.

Wanna fuck yourself and enjoy it wildly - masturbate!

Wanna learn how to have a full body orgasm - self-pleasure!

You get the point!

I also want to emphasize that one is not “better” than the other… they are different, they serve different purposes, and both are valuable and wonderful parts of your solo sexual repertoire.

I hope this inspired you! Feel free to email me and share your thoughts, I love hearing from you.

Love,

Erika