Reclaim Penetration
Reclaim Penetration-it’s for YOU! (+ free practice!)
YAAAASSSSS so excited to talk about penetration today AND share an amazing self-pleasure practice with you where you get to explore all of this on a practical level with yourself! (read to the end to learn how to get the practice!)
But first I just want to mention that I’m currently launching my group program SHAMELESS so that means you have been and you will be getting quite a lot of emails about that.
You are most welcome to disregard them if you’re not interested in joining (but I do encourage you to read them because they are filled with super interesting and educational stuff so you can still learn a thing or fifteen!).
Remember, you never have to buy anything from me to be a valued member of this community!
Having said that, I’m popping in with my high-quality newsletter even though I’m in a launch, so here we go - this is a lengthy and really juicy one today!!
RECLAIM PENETRATION
There is so much to say about penetration.
First, let’s talk about cocks…
How you feel about cocks directly impact how you feel about penetration.
As a heterosexual woman, it’s easy to hate cocks, or at least feel somewhat negative about them.
We are taught they take something from us.
So many women grow up fearing being penetrated for the feeling that something is taken away from them.
When we have sex with a man, that man takes something from us that we can never get back: our honor, our virginity, our sacredness, our purity, our dignity.
We are told they are better than our vulvas. We are prey to their predatory “nature”. We are conditioned to believe their satisfaction is more important than our own. Our pussies are but a passive receiver of their active penetration.
Obviously, NONE of this is actually true, but we are raised in a culture that teaches us this.
Well, it’s time to rewrite the narrative.
Cocks are amazing.
They don’t take, they give.
They don’t hurt, they heal.
They don’t abuse, they please.
They aren’t better, they’re equals.
They don’t come first, they cum after us.
Of course, there are dicks out there. But when you find a good cock, magical things happen if you befriend, love and worship that cock.
I’ve found myself a very good one. He’s changed and healed my pussy, life and heart. I’m forever grateful and in awe of the power of cock.
And, reclaiming penetration means cultivating the sense that fucking is FOR YOU.
Penetration is FOR YOU. Game changer.
So ask yourself:
How do I feel about cocks?
How do I want to feel about them?
How do my feelings towards cock impact how I experience penetration?
Journal about this - it can be super revelatory!
YES, NO, MAYBE – Consent!
This is a huge one!
Too many women have experienced that they have chronically said yes when they meant no or maybe to penetration.
The vaginal entrance is a gatekeeper. She is capable of the strongest yes’s and no’s.
Meaning, when she is a HELL YES to penetration, your vaginal entrance will literally pull in and swallow the thing (cock, finger, toy etc).
When you honor the yes, your body rewards you with delicious exquisite pleasure from penetration.
When she's a HELL NO, it will NOT feel great.
Contracted.
Uncomfortable.
Like a wall.
When you don't honor your NO, for whatever reason, over time this can lead to tension, tightness, numbness, disconnection and even pain in the vaginal entrance and vagina.
Not great. How do you recognize the no? You check in. You listen. You feel it. You can't miss it, if you really listen...
So ask yourself:
Do you have penetration sex before you’re ready and really wanting it?
Do you have penetration sex because you feel it’s expected of you?
Do you feel free to express your YES’s, NO’s and MAYBE’s in a sexual situation?
For many women - this is a mind-blowing new concept.
Most women, sadly, have never even thought about checking in with their pussy to see if pussy is really onboard to receive penetration.
So welcome to a wonderful healing journey, my love, of creating a deep embodied connection and celebration of your vaginal entrance and vagina so you can experience: EXQUISITE PENETRATION!
Your vaginal opening is a gatekeeper... she's your compass and truth-teller when it comes to pleasure and sex. Turn up the dial on her voice inside, and you will find your pleasure and ecstasy.
How to experience pleasurable penetration!
Again, Penetration can feel exquisite!
But for it feel that way, a few things are necessary:
1. You are relaxed in mind, body and pussy – a relaxed vagina is a vagina that FEELS
2. You’re turned on... you don’t have to be super wet, but you do have to be turned on - meaning you feel sexual activation and energy in your body and genitals
3. Your vagina is a YES to penetration. If she’s feeling more like “no” or “maybe”, it won’t feel as good as it can
4. You feel safe with the person who is going to penetrate you. Safety is so key!
Aaaand, not necessary but definitely helps a lot - you’ve activated your vaginal pleasure potential by internal self-pleasure with fingers/toys and/or done internal healing work like de-armoring (like you’ll be doing in the free practice I’m sharing with you today).
You don’t have to want penetration sex... but when you do, it ought to feel exquisite!
Remember that painful or non-pleasurable penetration is common, NOT normal.
Penetration of heart & genitals – the positive/negative poles
In the Taoist tradition, men and women are believed to have opposing energy poles = balance.
Men have their positive pole (penetrative) in their genitals and their negative pole (receptive) in the heart.
Women are the exact opposite: positive pole in their heart and negative pole in their genitals.
The positive pole is the power center, where the power and penetrative force comes from. The negative pole is more fragile, receptive and vulnerable - it’s not a weakness but another type of strength.
Think about it: men often feel women need too much foreplay, they want to get into, they wanna fuck, they can go hard and deep and get really carried away. Similarly, women tend to attack men with an emotional fierceness and power that make men feel incredibly small, hurt and fearful.
Women in heterosexual relationships often complain about how their men are emotionally unavailable, shut down and demand their men share their feelings. Just like men tend to demand sexual openness and readiness. Just like women need sexual foreplay and emotional qualities like safety and trust to open and surrender to penetration, men need the same to open their hearts.
This is valuable to know to understand how both men and women have the ability to penetrate each other and create deep emotional trauma and harm if not done with care and caution.
The free give-away practice!
The Reclaim Penetration practice is designed to support you in reprogramming how you feel about penetration and to take it back, reclaim the experience of penetration and getting fucked as something GOOD FOR YOU!
Penetration of any kind, whether using your fingers or a sex toy, or the penetration from someone else’s body parts – it should feel good.
Or at least like you are relaxed and fully welcoming it and from that place is can develop into exquisite pleasure.
Like I mentioned above, feeling a YES towards penetration is SO important – and you’ll explore this in the practice.
SO EXCITED FOR YOU TO EXPERIENCE THIS POTENT PRACTICE!
Some useful info about the practice:
This is a sexual self-pleasure practice, so I’ll be guiding you to touch yourself sexually
Body friendly oil or lube can really enhance the experience
Do have a dildo/toy of your preference to penetrate yourself with, of course, you can do it with fingers only, but a toy will really take the experience deeper
Have some pillows around, you might be punching or kicking and fucking them
And lastly, I highly recommend that you do this practice when you sound privacy so you can really unleash your sounding (super healing and powerful!)
Want the practice? Send me an email and say: I want to RECLAIM PENETRATION!
Hope you’ll enjoy it… I’m so happy to share it with you because I’m deeply committed to your sexual healing and thriving. ❤️
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And, if you love this material, imagine a four-month container of this type of content, lots of cool theory, amazing practices, weekly live calls with me, and soooo much more…
With love,
Erika
